Conclusion – 10 Things You Must Know To Ensure a Successful Pregnancy With A Gestational Surrogate

Missed Part 1 or Part 2?

7. THE GESTATIONAL SURROGATE HAS BABYSITTING HELP AVAILABLE. This seems so easy, yet it has been a big stumbling block. The Surrogate should have a sitter and a back-up plan. Many physicians will not allow children in their waiting room, so there needs to be someone who can watch them In addition, emergencies can happen. If the Surrogate does not have sitters available, work with her to locate some she will be comfortable with.

8. THERE IS AGREEMENT ABOUT THE DELIVERY ARRANGEMENTS, WHO WILL BE IN THE DELIVERY ROOM, NOTIFICATION PROCEDURES, MAKING MEDICAL DECISIONS. What is the plan? With the advent of cell phones, it is much easier for the parties to stay in touch, but what is the backup if there is no answer? Commit this plan to writing, and notify the hospital of the Surrogate’s wishes. Remember the Surrogate is the patient; the hospital should follow the Surrogate’s wishes. Additionally, if there is a medical emergency, who will make medical decisions on behalf of the child if the intended parents are not available? Who will make medical decisions on behalf of the Surrogate if she is incapacitated? A durable power of attorney should be created for the Surrogate and an alternate for the intended parents should be listed in the contract or agreement.

9. THE GESTATIONAL SURROGATE IS IN AGREEMENT WITH YOU ABOUT BREAST MILK PUMPING. While this is thought to be medically helpful to contract the uterus back to normal size, for many women, this is a painful process, physically, and possibly emotionally. Additionally, pumping is very time consuming. Most pumping is done between 5-8 times a day. Each pumping session can take 30 to 60 minutes to pump both breasts. If you wish to have breast milk for your child, ask if your Surrogate is comfortable pumping milk and negotiate appropriate compensation. Discuss how the milk will be stored and delivered. All of this should be either written into your gestational Surrogate contract or should be written as an addendum.

10. THE GESTATIONAL SURROGATE IS IN AGREEMENT WITH YOU ABOUT ANY POST BIRTH CONTACT. For some folks, having post birth contact is natural. For others, they want all contact to cease immediately after birth. Will the Surrogate have the child with her in the hospital or have a quiet time to bid the farewell. Will the baby be handed immediately to the intended parents or to the Surrogate? Will the Surrogate’s children be able to view the baby? Again, get the expectations out in the open. Is there to be any continuing contact? Although most families do not have substantial continuing contact, it is not unusual for families to send photos to the Surrogate on the child’s birthday, so the Surrogate can see how well they are doing.

After you’ve thought about these 10 things, you probably have some questions. Why don’t you call us and we can set up a time to discuss? Or you can go to our website and learn more there, and send us your contact information.

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Part 2 – 10 Things You Must Know To Ensure a Successful Pregnancy With A Gestational Surrogate

Did you miss Part 1?

4. THE GESTATIONAL SURROGATE IS IN AGREEMENT WITH YOU ABOUT THE AMOUNT OF CONTACT YOU WILL SHARE DURING THE PREGNANCY. Do lay your expectations out so you and your surrogate can come to agreement. The surrogacies which have gone sideways most often do so because of unmet expectations. Will you go to every doctor appointment or only the landmark appointments? Will you communicate by visits, by phone, by email or by third persons? Will visits be planned or drop in? How often do you want to be in contact? Is the surrogate wanting lots of contact or little? Would she prefer emails to telephone calls? Is there a certain time of day that contact is easier, i.e. after dinner?

5. THE GESTATIONAL SURROGATE IS IN AGREEMENT WITH YOU ABOUT THE TYPE OF CONTACT YOU WILL SHARE DURING THE PREGNANCY. One surrogacy I worked on came to crisis when the surrogate said she couldn’t stand being interrogated about what she had eaten each day. The intended mother wanted to be a part of the process and was asking the questions to “try on” the pregnancy. The intended mother was not able to see how her questions could be considered controlling and/or intrusive until the Surrogate told her that she had whiskey and donuts for breakfast. After gasping for breath, ultimately she was able to relax and trust that the surrogate would nourish herself appropriately. It’s important to remember that the surrogate is a responsible adult who may make different decisions than the intended parents, but if the contract is adhered to the life style choices are the surrogates’ decisions. Do build in a safety net, so, if a question or request by either party feels intrusive, the other party may have a middle man to contact.

6. THE GESTATIONAL SURROGATE IS IN AGREEMENT WITH YOU ABOUT THE ASPECTS OF ABORTION AND OR SELECTIVE REDUCTION. You need to discuss if either abortion or selective reduction will be utilized and under what conditions. It is also very important to note that under Roe v. Wade, a U.S. Supreme Court Decision, no one can make a pregnant woman get an abortion. So, even if this is in the contract, the surrogate can be held in breach of contract, but you will not be able to legally compel her to act. Therefore BE SURE TO FIND SOMEONE WHO SHARES YOUR VIEWS. I strongly recommend not working with anyone who doesn’t agree with you from the very beginning, because experience shows that even if someone changes their mind to accommodate you, they may well revert back to their originally held positions.

Tomorrow: the conclusion. In the meantime, you can visit our website to learn more about becoming a gestational surrogate or using one to build your family.

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Part 1 – 10 Things You Must Know To Ensure a Successful Pregnancy With A Gestational Surrogate

On a rainy day, I sometimes rifle through our in-house archives for some timeless pieces on family formation. So starting today, Family Formation Law is bringing you a series of pieces on growing your family.

1. THE GESTATIONAL SURROGATE REALLY CARES ABOUT CHILDREN AND ENJOYS BEING PREGNANT. The motivation of the gestational surrogate makes a significant difference in her attitude about the pregnancy, and hence the prenatal environment for the child. For example, one study has shown that women who are stressed or depressed during the pregnancy tend to birth children who are more colicky as infants and introverted throughout life. As to the risk of exposing a child to unhealthy substances, as a carrier indicated, “my children have opened her heart so much that I can’t image doing anything which could potentially harm or abuse any child.”

2. THE GESTATIONAL SURROGATE’S SIGNIFICANT OTHER IS IN AGREEMENT WITH THE SURROGACY PROCESS. Nothing sabotages a surrogacy faster than a non-supportive significant other. Supportive is ideal; neutral is satisfactory. However, if the significant other is opposed to the surrogacy, I strongly suggest you do not go forward. For this reason, we mandate that the gestational surrogate and her significant other both be screened by a psychologist.

3. THE GESTATIONAL SURROGATE UNDERSTANDS THAT SOME PREGNANCIES NEED MEDICATIONS IN INJECTION FORM. Many of the potential surrogates we interview don’t know about the extra medical interventions necessary in an assisted reproduction pregnancy. Make certain that your carrier understands what is involved prior to investing heart and money. There are a great many web sites (e.g.www.ASRM.org) which will provide excellent initial information. Only when there is comprehension of what is involved should you continue.

Want to know more? Parts 2 and 3 will be up next week! In the meantime, you can visit our website to learn more about becoming a gestational surrogate or using one to build your family. Don’t forget we offer a free consultation to discuss your needs. Have a great weekend!

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India – Booming Business in Assisted Reproduction…But Is it Ethical?

Yesterday we posted a little about how India is becoming a major destination for reproductive tourism in the form of gestational surrogacy. Today, we’re discussing some of the ethical ramifications associated with choosing a surrogate in India. These issues aren’t new – commercial surrogacy has been legal in India since 2002. It is typically associated with substantial cost savings over a gestational surrogacy in the United States ($25,000 versus $75,000 – $100,000). But the cost savings come at a moral cost. In a New York Times article from 2008, the reporter noted:

Surrogacy is an area fraught with ethical and legal uncertainties. Critics argue that the ease with which relatively rich foreigners are able to “rent” the wombs of poor Indians creates the potential for exploitation. Although the government is actively promoting India as a medical tourism destination, what some see as an exchange of money for babies has made many here uncomfortable.

And therein lies the rub. Although gestational surrogacy is legal in India, women still lack political power and financial resources in their own country. Pursuing a surrogacy arrangement in India means taking advantage of this situation. Furthermore, intended parents have to be comfortable with less disclosure than they would have within the United States, and they have to accept that the surrogate is unlikely to tell even her closest friends what she is doing and why.

In our surrogacy program, our gestational carriers are screened for physical, mental and emotional competence to handle the rigors of a gestational surrogacy. The women admitted must be healthy, maintain their own individual health insurance, and be employed outside the home (or, if not, must be in the home by choice). The women cannot be on any form of government assistance. We do not use women on Medi-Cal or Medicaid. The intended parents and the would-be surrogate meet prior to entering into a contract, to create a certain level of comfort and trust. The fertility specialist chosen by the intended parents will conduct a medical exam of the surrogate, in addition to reviewing her medical records. The surrogates in our program are encouraged to share their preferences regarding carrying a child for same sex couples, single people, inter-racial couples, selective reduction, and termination of pregnancy. We believe that these safeguards ensure the best outcome for all parties involved.

Compare this to a surrogacy in India: not only do intended parents not have the guarantees about the health of the surrogate, parents also have to be concerned about the overall environment in which the woman is living. These women, however healthy they may be, do not live in the same environment as you, the intended parents. For better or worse, India is a developing nation, with all that goes with it. You may see yourself as participating in a “win-win” – i.e. you get a child, she receives a not insubstantial sum of money to provide for her family, but you face the possibility that she is malnourished, illiterate, and, unfortunately, being taken advantage of, in spite of your best efforts to the contrary.

There are also legal issues at play, but those are for another blog. Check back periodically and see what else we have to share on these issues. In the meantime, if you are considering pursuing a gestational surrogacy, either as an intended parent or as a surrogate, visit our website to learn more, or call us at 1-800-877-1880.

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Surrogacy Abroad – The Latest Wave?

India is rapidly becoming a major player in the surrogacy business, for better or for worse. Many developed nations have outlawed commercial surrogacy as immoral, or they prohibit it for certain groups (homosexuals or single people). Therefore, individuals and couples seeking to grow their families through surrogacy are often forced to look elsewhere. India is becoming a favored destination for these families, since commercial surrogacy is legal, and a surrogate can be paid what seems a very small sum to the intended parents, but a fortune for the surrogate, thanks to differences in the standard of living and exchange rates.

Much has been made of the fate of the German couple who used an Indian surrogate to bear their twins, only to have the German government deny the children citizenship, and the Indian government do the same. But couples from Australia, France and other parts of Europe are turning to India over the United States for cost savings. Over the next couple of posts, we’re going to cover some of the drawbacks to using a surrogate in India (or anywhere outside the United States) to grow your family.

To whet your appetite, start here: a 60 minutes piece about an Australian couple turning to India for their gestational surrogacy. Watch it and comment below. We’d love to hear your thoughts.

Family Formation Law Offices has been in the family building business for nearly thirty years. Whether you are seeking to build your family through adoption, or third-party assisted reproduction, we have the skills and resources to help you. Call 1-800-877-1880 today for your free 15 minute consultation.

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Washington State Legislature Considering Gestational Surrogacy Bill

Washington State currently has a ban on paid gestational surrogacy arrangements. But that may change very soon. According to the Seattle Times, a bill has passed the State House, 59-39, allowing women to be paid to serve as gestational surrogates.

If it becomes law, the bill debated last Monday would set up a detailed system for entering into surrogacy contracts. The bill is now being considered by Washington State’s Senate.

Under the bill, House Bill 2793, surrogates would have to be at least 21 and have previously given birth to a child. Additional requirements include obtaining medical coverage for the pregnancy and immediately after birth, passing mental and physical examinations, and signing a written consent form. Intended parents also would have to meet certain requirements, including a mental health evaluation and an affidavit from a doctor attesting to a medical need for surrogacy.

Gay and lesbian couples would not need a medical affidavit. The measure also would give state-registered domestic partners access to the Uniform Parentage Act, a law regulating child support and custody.

California intended parents are very lucky, as you can see by this news article. California intended parents have long had the ability to obtain pre-birth judgments declaring them the legal parents of the children. While surrogacy is unregulated in California, there are many excellent programs run by experienced practitioners and attorneys, who can advise you on the best way to create your family. Family Formation Law Offices encourages you to visit our website to learn about using gestational surrogacy to build your family, including the costs, timeframe, and what to expect.

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California Assembly Member Introduce Bill to Regulate Surrogacy Business

On February 19, 2010, Assembly Member Bradford introduced a bill into the California legislature designed to regulate the practice of so called “surrogacy practitioners,” AB 2426. You can track its status here.

Surrogacy practitioners, as defined by the bill, are persons or organizations that engage in either (1) advertising for the purpose of soliciting parties to an assisted reproduction agreement or acting as an intermediary between the parties to an assisted reproduction agreement; or (2) charging a fee or other valuable consideration for services rendered relating to an assisted reproduction arrangement.

We’ve already covered how to choose an assisted reproduction program in some detail on this blog. One of the problems we’ve identified in this field is a lack of regulation. Unfortunately, several surrogacy agencies have closed their doors in recent months, and in so doing, took the money intended parents had placed with them to pay medical bills, the surrogate’s monthly expenses and her compensation. These parents were left with no recourse, since these agencies are not licensed or otherwise regulated by the state. Now, there are a few surrogacy programs run by attorneys, and we strongly recommend that families considering surrogacy work with an attorney owned and operated program, because the attorney has a license on the line, and you, the consumer, have recourse through the State Bar if the attorney commits malpractice.

The other part of the bill regulates how a non-attorney surrogacy practitioner handles client funds. The legislation would require the practitioner to deposit the client funds into either an independent bonded escrow depository, or a trust account maintained by an attorney. It further requires that client funds can only be withdrawn only by agreement between the surrogacy practitioner and the intended legal parent identified in the assisted reproduction arrangement.

This bill has only just been introduced into the legislature, and its going to take some time to work its way through the legislature. It will likely undergo some refinements between now and when its signed into law, whenever that may be. However, Family Formation Law Offices is pleased that the legislature is aware of the problems out there, and at least considering legislation. We will keep you informed of any updates!

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Stepparent Adoption – The Basics

Did you know that the most common form of adoption in this country is a stepparent adoption wherein the stepparent assumes the financial and legal responsibility for his or her spouse’s child(ren), and the non-custodial parent is released from all parenting responsibilities? Many families today are blended, where one biological parent is out of the picture or possibly even unknown, and another person has stepped in to fill the role of parent in every possible way. Families do not always realize how straightforward the stepparent adoption process is, and the many benefits it can bring both the children and the parents.

For example, a woman might not know who the biological father of her child is, but her current husband or boyfriend has always raised the child as his own, despite having no requirement to do so. All parties involved probably consider this man “Dad.” It would be quite simple to terminate the birth father’s rights and have Dad become the legal father of the child, granting him all the rights, privileges and responsibilities that go with that title.

Sometimes a biological parent has abandoned their child, or has passed away, and in those situations, it is also possible to have the stepparent’s role changed to that of legal parent. Many times a stepparent adoption can be completed without contested litigation and only one brief court appearance at the end, granting the adoption.

An experienced adoption attorney will be able to guide you and your family through the stepparent adoption process. Here at Family Formation Law Offices, we frequently handle uncontested stepparent adoptions on a flat fee basis. We can advise you about the best course of action for your particular situation, and help you give legal status to the relationship that is already built on love. Call today to set up your free 15 minute phone consultation to see if stepparent adoption is the right choice for your family.

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Gay Man in Florida Anxiously Waiting for Ruling on Adoption

An article in the Orlando Sentinel covers the lives and times of a gay man, Martin Gill, and his partner as they anxiously wait for the US Court of Appeals for the 3rd Circuit to issue its ruling on Florida’s ban on adoption by gay individuals.

Florida has a long-standing ban on gay adoption, passed in 1977 by the legislature. Until now, no one has gotten this close to overturning it. The Miami-Dade Circuit Court judge ruled in November 2008 that the law was unconstitutional. The state appealed the decision, and now, the family waits.

The facts are compelling: Gill and his partner are foster parents to two children, now ages 4 and 9. DCF workers testified at the trial that Gill and his partner were exemplary foster parents and, if not for the ban, they would have recommended them for adoption. The boys have bonded with the two men, calling them “Daddy” and “Poppy.” Even more heartbreaking, the Attorney General has stated that if the appeals court upholds the ban, the children will be removed from the home and placed with another foster family where they would be eligible for adoption.

It’s easy for those of us in California to forget how much harder it is for same-sex couples and individuals to adopt or have children in other parts of the country. Families considering adoption, same sex or otherwise, should always consult with an attorney as part of the process to familiarize themselves with the laws of their state, as well as others. Many times adoptions occur with parties residing in different states. If you are interested in adoption a child but do not reside in California, we may still be able to help you. Call us today, or visit our website to learn more about our services!

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Announcing Birth Parent Outreach Program!

Family Formation Law Offices is excited to announce the launch of its new and improved birth parent outreach program. This program is designed to help would be adoptive parents find a child to adopt by reaching out to women who are pregnant and wish to place their child for adoption. You can learn more by calling our office at (925) 945-1880, or emailing us!

The basics of the program are flat fee legal and outreach work for a period of time, chosen by you, the adoptive parent (1 year, 18 months, or 2 years). Family Formation Law Offices will place advertisements for adoptive parents in places that will reach birth parents, including the internet. We will also reach out to other groups and individuals that may have contact with birth parents, to let them know that we have a pool of families for birth parents to choose from when selecting a home in which to place their child.

Family Formation Law Offices not only locates birth parents, but screens them using both a legal and a mental health approach, building on Diane Michelsen’s years of experience as an adoption social worker, as well as an adoption attorney.

For birth parents, we encourage you to contact our offices to join our list of birth parents looking for a placement. You may qualify for legal representation by our office at no cost to you.

We are very excited about this new program, and hope that you will contact us to learn more about adoption, whether you are a would-be adoptive parent, or a birth parent looking for a family for your child.

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